


The Queer Quartet

by cazei



Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan, RIORDAN Rick - Works
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Youtubers, Asexual Hearth, Bisexual Magnus Chase, F/F, F/M, Gay, Hearth is trans, M/M, Multi, Pan Blitzen, PanRo Hearth, Pansexual Alex, Trans Character, Trans Hearth, Trans Male Character, this is gay, youtube au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-09 11:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10411092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazei/pseuds/cazei
Summary: Magnus Chase and Blitzen Freyason from the popular YouTube channel, BlitzandMags, collab with a nearby duo, DeafAndIndecisive.Que Q&A's, Baking videos, Let's Plays, and other tropes!-“What happened?” Blitz asks, setting the camera on the table to get all of them in the shot. Hearth signs the same thing.“Remember that bowl we put on the fridge during our last vlog?” Magnus asks. “I found it.”Right, because that makes sense.





	1. Dares, Hair Dye, and Snails

**Author's Note:**

> So This Happened. I will, 99% most likely, be adding more. Comment where you want the story to go!
> 
> -  
> Yes, I know I didn't use the ASL grammar syntax. (I'm in my second semester of an ASL course.) It would fit in awkwardly here, and I'm just trying to get information across to those who don't know the ASL-Gloss-writing style. Plz be kind to me i'm trying. 
> 
> Also, if it isn't obvious, ASL is in italics and single quotes.

 

“A man walks into a bar,” Blitzen says as soon as the camera light turns red, indicating that it’s recording.

 

“Yeah?” Magnus says. “Then what happened?”

 

“He said ‘Ouch!’” Blitzen finishes, at least having the decency to look disappointed with himself.

 

 

The introduction music plays, as well as their opening pages. ‘BlitzandMags’ shows on the screen, the name of their channel.

 

“Wow, that intro-joke was worse than usual,” Magnus comments, laughing.

 

Blitzen rolls his eyes, staring right at the camera. “I’m sure this video will make up for it.”

 

“Why are we even hiding?” A voice says from off camera. “They can read the video title, you know.”

 

“This was a bad plan,” Magnus agrees.

 

Blitzen sighs. “Get over here, you two.”

 

Immediately, Alex and Hearthstone walk over and sit in the shot. Blitzen decides in his head to edit the precious few seconds they took out.

 

“This, if you live under a rock, is Hearth and Alex!” Magnus introduces, directing jazz hands towards the other YouTubers. “They run the other Boston-based social justice based channel, DeafAndIndecisive.”

 

Alex sighs. “I would like to clarify, as I always have to, the indecisive is not a dig on being Gender Fluid. I’m Gender Fluid. It’s a joke, okay?”

 

Hearth sighs, ' _that’s a bit indecisive of you.'_

 

Blitzen, having a Deaf aunt himself, translates. They all known ASL, Blitz having taught Mangus when he was adopted, and Alex because she lives with Hearth. Blitz simply translates out loud for all those who will soon watch, and won’t bother reading his captions.

 

Alex punches Hearth lightly on the shoulder.

 

“Yes,” She says. “We gave into your peer pressure and decided to collab.”

 

It’s true—It was their follower's idea. In fact, they hadn’t spoken, really spoken, until a week ago.

 

Magnus sighs. “Never give into peer pressure. Shame on you, Alex. Shame.”

 

For Hearth’s sake, they all sign as they speak.

 

“So, Maggy,” Alex says to Magnus who flushes slightly. “Why are we here?”

 

“Do not rush me in my own apartment,” Magnus chides jokingly. “Okay, okay. We’re going to be fifth graders.”

 

Hearth frowns and looks over at him. ' _What?_ ’

 

“We’re playing truth or dare,” Blitzen answers, pausing dramatically so he can add music and effects later. The rest of them catch on, giving the camera surprised and scared faces. Alex speaks first.

 

“Damn, how long are your effects?”

 

They all break with laughter; Blitzen might not add effects, just to see their straining and trying-not-to-laugh faces.

 

“Onto the dares,” Alex says, her face red from laughter.

 

Blitzen pulls out his phone; earlier he had tweeted ‘ _send us some truths/dares!!’_ Naturally, Hearth and Alex tweeted the same thing a week or two ago, to avoid suspicion. It doesn’t work, subscribers always suspect. They’ve suspected to the point of addressing dares to the four of them, hope bleeding through their words. The hope of the collab they’ve been begging for finally arriving.

 

Blitz, being the risk taker that he is, reads the first one.

 

“Alex,” he says, reads the rest of the tweet, then laughs. “Oh, this is good.”

 

“What is it?” She tries to lean over Hearth to read off Blitzen’s iPhone.

 

“Say the alphabet backward in fifteen seconds.”

 

She glares at him, but Hearth begins to count down in ASL.

 

“Oh, shi- Z, Y, X, W, uh, Q? Oh, my god, what’s the alphabet! Uh— _goddamit_! You win this one, Freyason!”

 

She doesn’t end up using all the time, seeing as she gives up five letters through.

 

They all laugh, and Alex gets Blitzen’s phone next, ready to subject one of her friends to viral embarrassment.

 

“Hearth,” She says. “What’s your favorite ASL sign?”

 

Hearth grins and signs _‘Snail’_.

 

Alex gives him a monotonous look, so I say, “What were you expecting?”

 

Alex sighs and stands. “I’m getting a glass of water.”

 

She leaves the room, the door wide open, revealing the kitchen. Magnus is laughing, watching her retreat.

 

“Magnus, get me a glass of water,” Alex’s voice floats in from the kitchen.

 

Blitz signs and turns to Hearth.

 

“And then there were two,” He says and signs.

 

' _Only the strong survive,_ ' Hearth signs, and Blitz laughs.

 

“Two questions in, and Alex is already done with the world,” Blitz notes.

 

‘ _Alex was born done with the world_ ,’ Hearth says, grinning, which is unusual for him, and Blitz knows this.

 

Then, the sound of a glass smashing comes from the kitchen. Blitz jumps, alarmed. Hearth simply tilts his head, only having Blitz’s reaction as a sign that something has happened.

 

‘ _Something broke_ ,’ Blitz explains, standing. Hearth shakes his head, looking unsurprised. Blitz grabs the camera and follows the group into the kitchen.

 

Magnus is leaning against the counter, laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Alex simply looks amused, staring at a bowl(What's left of it anyways) on the ground.

 

“What happened?” Blitz asks, setting the camera on the table to get all of them in the shot. Hearth signs the same thing.

 

“Remember that bowl we put on the fridge during our last vlog?” Magnus asks. “I found it.”

 

Right, because _that_ makes sense.

 

-

 

Two minutes later finds all of them resituated in the living room, back on the couch.

 

“Okay,” Alex says. “Let’s get on with this.”

 

' _Magnus_ ,’ Hearthstone signs, reading off of Blitzen’s phone. _'If you had to kiss one of us, who would it be_?’

 

Magnus goes pink, Alex and Blitzen laugh, and Hearth looks as if he already has guessed.

 

“Alex,” Magnus says, turning pinker than Alex’s sweater. “Next question.”

 

Alex’s eyes widen, but she plays it off with a shrug. Blitzen says, “Let’s talk about this, why don’t we?”

 

Hearth nods eagerly. Alex looks away.

 

“I, uh, I like your hair,” Magnus says lamely. Everyone clears their throats, and they move on.

 

“Hearth,” Blitzen reads, signing with one hand, despite the other two ASL signers who could do it. “Be pastel. That’s all it says. Be. Pastel.”

 

Alex looks at Hearth’s grays and blues and snorts. “They want him to put on more pastel-ey colors.”

 

Hearth reddens slightly and rolls his eyes. ‘ _Really?’_ He signs.

 

But, Blitzen, suddenly excited, squeals slightly. “I have this blue sweater that you are _so_ putting on.”

 

Hearth allows him to be dragged off the couch and away by Blitzen.

 

Magnus and Alex share knowing looks and laugh.

 

Inside Blitzen’s room, Hearth lets his eyes wander (not like that, you perv!) and he observes the other boy’s room. Blitzen quickly finds the sweater and thrusts it out to him.

 

He rolls his eyes but heads towards the bathroom anyways. When Blitzen gives him a slightly curious look, he signed ‘ _Binder’,_ and Blits gives him an understanding look before leaving. As if he’s comfortable enough with his body to change in front of Blitz either way.

 

Blitz is waiting outside the bathroom door for him when he emerges, his eyes lighting up.

 

‘ _I love it_ ,’ He signs as Hearth flushes red. Blitz reaches towards his hand hesitantly, waiting for permission. Curiously, Hearth nods and allows Blitzen to drag him excitedly into the room.

 

“Ta da!” Blitzen yells when they enter. Except, seeing as Magnus and Alex and sticking their tounges down each others throat, his scream turns into one of terror and he jumps. Hearth immediately keels over with silent laughter as Blitzen paces, muttering about bleach and his eyes. Magnus and Alex don’t look guilty about it at all, though.

 

' _I’m making you keep that in_ ,' Hearth tells all of them when they’ve calmed down. Magnus flushes but shrugs, and Alex rolls her eyes.

 

They move on.

 

“Blitzen, this one says…Oh, my god,” Alex says, after: Magnus jumps in the shower (clothes on. He begins to sing “Sweatshirt”, and that’s when they leave him, dripping there), Hearth has to share his greatest fear (which dampens the mood when he says, ‘ _going blind as well’_ ), Blitzen is forced to wear a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of red jeans (this one was painful for all), and Alex has tried drinking a pickle from a rough trip in the blender (the less said about this one the better).

 

“What’s it say?” Blitzen says. They’ve already decided that it was going to be the last one of the video. The sun has long since set, and Alex and Hearth need to get back to their own apartment soon.

 

She gives the phone to Hearth, still wearing the pastel sweater, who rolls his eyes fondly and nods.

 

“Remember the temporary hair dye we bought for the Friday Skit?” Magnus asks, having read the dare as well. “Go grab that. And change your jeans; your shirt can get ruined for all I care. Bring another shirt here, though.”

 

Blitzen stands. “I’ll get it, but my hair is too dark for it.”

 

“It’s not for you,” Magnus says, grinning from ear to ear.

 

When he returns, tossing the other old shirt to Magnus, who in turn hands it to Hearth. By the time Hearth has returned from changing, they’ve moved a chair into the living room, placing towels and blankets everywhere.

 

“Why am I dying Hearth’s hair?”

 

“It’s the lightest,” Alex says. “And the dare said Hearth and you specifically.”

 

Blitzen rolls his eyes. “It’s a good thing that I know how to do this, then.”

 

“Well,” Blitzen says after getting Hearth ready for the dye, “At least we don’t need bleach.”

 

-

 

Hearth’s hair is pastel pink. Hearth’s hair is soft, and it’s pastel pink.

 

They settle for doing the ending of the video, but Blitzen is just focused on the pink dye on his hands and Hearth’s hair. Hearth didn’t look too upset by the hair dye—in fact, he was amused by the whole situation. It’ll wash out in less than a week anyways.

 

Hearth’s hair is pink, Blitzen is wearing floral print, Alex has tasted _blender pickle_ , and Magnus is soaking wet.

 

Ah, YouTube. What a professional career.

 

They finish the recording with:

 

“I don’t know if we can call that a success or not,” Magnus says.

 

“Definitely not,” Alex agrees. “We may have to try it again…Just to get better results.”

 

Catching on, I say, “So comment below if you want us to make another video together. I mean, we’re most likely making one already, I think Magnus and Alex are a thing?” A glance between the two mentioned. “Anyway, this isn’t the last time your hearing from the Queer Quartet.”

 

‘ _Did you just brand us?_ ’ Hearth signs, and then the screen goes to black.

 

Yes, Hearth. Yes, he did.

 

 -

 

_New Video from BlitzandMags: The Queer Quartet_

Views: 569,493

Likes: 349,048

Dislikes: 593

-

_Comments_ : 

_MaggieMagnusMags195:_

_Oh. My. God._

 -

_Fangurlfrevr:_

_I SHIP ALEX AND MAGNUS SO MUCH IT HURTS_

 -

_CuriosulyQueer:_

_can y’all smell the sexual tension as well?_

 -

_Blitzscloset:_

_Wow. Just when I though Blitz couldn’t get any gayer. He has now acquired an Asexual._

 -

_Namesarefun:_

_I M S C R E A M I N G_

 -

_pannerthanapanckae:_

_and i thought i was gay_

_-_

Blueeyes _:_

_This is what I subscribed for._


	2. The Queer FAILURE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, Maggy," Alex says in a game show host's voice, "Today we’re going to go to the store and buy ingredients to bake something."
> 
> "Are you guys ready to go?" Blitz calls from the back of the apartment. Alex pans the camera back to show that Hearth is sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine, and Blitzen is emerging from his room. 
> 
> "You’re the one we’ve been waiting on," Magnus huffs.
> 
> -
> 
> The Queer Quartet try to bake. Emphasis on try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> This was going to be a multi-work series, but a multi-chapter fic was easier!!

"Hey, guys!" Alex grins into the camera. The room is unfamiliar, but her face is taking up most of the view. She glances behind her, and muffled talking is heard. "No," She answers, "I’m filming a video. Shush."

"Today’s video is going to be—Magnus, actually shut up."

Alex sets the camera down, picks something up, throws it, and a loud thump is audible.

"I’m over at Mangus and Blitzen’s, and we’re about to film our, get this, second video together. It’s been a total of three days, but what the people want, they get."

"Not like it’s any of your business," Alex starts, "but we all have a group chat, and we got lunch together yesterday, so expect more collabs."

Magnus sticks his head on her shoulder. "We’re dating, now, too."

Alex rolls her eyes and sighs. "Unfortunately."

Magnus says, "I’m going to ignore that. So, Alex, what are we filming on this fine day?"

"Well, Maggy," Alex says in a game show host's voice, "Today we’re going to go to the store and buy ingredients to bake something."

"Are you guys ready to go?" Blitz calls from the back of the apartment. Alex pans the camera back to show that Hearth is sitting on the couch, flipping through a magazine, and Blitzen is emerging from his room.

"You’re the one we’ve been waiting on," Magnus huffs.

‘Yes,’ Hearth signs. ‘You take a long time to get ready.’

Blitzen rolls his eyes. "Fabulous takes time."

—

"So, currently we’re — gasp — driving to the grocery store," Blitzen says into the camera. "I don’t know why Alex wanted me to record this. I mean, her and Magnus took the driver and passenger seats, so Hearth and I are in the backseat. Hearth, say hi!"

The camera is moved to Hearth, who moves his gaze from Blitzen to the camera. He signs ‘Hello’ and then signs something quickly to Blitzen, who points the camera back at him.

"Hearth wants to know who—What? Oh, my god. Hearth wants to know why you all keep DMing him sweater images. So, I mean, answer in the comments?"

—

"Hey, guys, Magnus here. I want to get this on video before we get kicked out of this store."

Magnus turns the camera around so it faces Hearth, in a shopping cart, being pushed by Blitz. Alex is chasing after them, trying to put stuff in the cart, but they don’t stop.

The next few clips are Magnus calmly putting items into a basket while Hearth and Blitz fly by the background on occasion, as well as a yelling Alex.

—

Blitzen sits on a curb dejectedly.

"So," He begins, "Hearth and I got kicked out of the store. Magnus and Alex hid so they could finish shopping."

‘Tell them what we did,’ Hearth signs from next to him.

"Crashed the cart into a display case of CD’s," Blitzen says, hiding his face.

‘And who’s fault was that?’

"Mine."

‘Exactly.’

The sliding door behind them drifts open, and Alex and Magnus drift out.

"Time to go," Alex says and signs.

—

"Okay. Now we just have to, actually, start the bake,” Magnus sighs.

Alex gets a fearful look on her face. “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.”

Hearth, from where he and Blitzen are setting up the ingredients, sighs.

‘Too late now.’

Blitz snorts. “I’ll say. Let’s do this. How hard can making a cake be?”

Mangus reads the recipe out loud before looking at the other three in fear. “Oh, no.”

Blitzen coughs. “One of us can bake, right?”

Hearth rolls his eyes. ‘Nope.’

“Not me,” Alex says. “You saw my blender pickle.”

“Same,” Mangus says, and then he looks at the camera. “This should be fun.”

“Let’s sift the dry ingredients,” Blitz says and signs to Hearth, “While Alex and Magnus do the batter.”

“I don’t think this is cake,” Alex says, looking confused.

“Let’s find out,” Magnus says.

—

Flour. Flour everywhere. There’s flour in Hearth’s still-pastel hair, there’s flour in Blitzen’s shirt, there’s flour everywhere. Alex is covered in it, while only Magnus’ arms are covered. I think you can assume what happened.

“Okay,” Blitzen huffs. “It’s finally in the oven.”

Hearth sighs. ‘That was a disaster.’

Alex coughs, and flour comes out. “Let’s never do this again. Please.”

"What should we do while we wait?" Blitzen asks.

"We can do more truths and dares from twitter?" Mangus suggests, and everyone sighs.

"Fine," Alex says. "It can't get worse than blender pickle."

Magnus scoffs. "I mean, this one asks what our sexualities are." He looks at the camera. "You can literally google it, we're all out."

Alex sighs. "I'm Pan, and also genderfluid. She/her until I say otherwise."

Magnus looks at her. "Oh, we're coming out again. Joy. I'm bisexual."

Blitzen looks up at the camera. "Should we link our coming out videos below?"

"Probably," Alex says. "I'll do that."

"Great!" Blitzen grins. "I'm pansexual, by the way."

Hearth glances at him and then the camera. 'Ace, panromantic. I'm also FTM trans.'

"Well," Alex says. "That was fun. Next question?"

"What is your guys' favorite sport?" Magnus reads. "Well, sports are...Fun. I'd have to say hockey, it's fun to watch."

Alex nods. "I'd say same, but I love Rugby. My sister, Sam, plays."

Blitzen, "I think my team would kill me if I didn't say Lacrosse."

Hearth scoffs. 'I still can't believe you're on a college lacrosse team. That seems too violent for you.'

"Thanks?" Blitzen says.

'As for me, Lacrosse too. It's the only sport I know anything about, because of Blitzen,' Hearth signs.

Alex grins. "I don't know what I'd do if any of you said football."

Magnus groans. "High school flashbacks." He pulls out his phone. "Are you guys still in school?" He reads.

Magnus looks at the camera with a void look in his eyes.

"We're all in college. The same college."

Alex looks at Magnus. "Wait, did none of us tell them we were in college?"

No one speaks.

"Oh, my god," Alex laughs. "That's insane! How old did they think we were?"

Magnus sighs. "I don't want to know. Anyway, yes, we all go to Valhalla University, here in Boston. I'm a PreMed major."

'I'm a chemistry major,' Hearth signs.

"I'm getting a teaching degree," Alex says and sighs. "God, help me."

"And I'm getting a degree in design," Blitzen says.

"How far away do you live from each other?" Magnus reads. "Nope, this is creepy. We're done with questions."

\--

"It's done!" Alex yells, running into view of the camera. "Guys! Mag! Blitz! Hearth! It's done!"

"He's Deaf," Blitzen yells back. "He can't hear you!"

Magnus strolls calmly into the kitchen where his girlfriend is pacing and throwing oven mits on.

"How's it look?" He asks.

Alex turns and glares at him. "I haven't checked yet! Where are the other two?"

"They were watching lacrosse fails on youtube in Blitzen's room," Magnus answers. "I think you're going to be dragged to Blitzen's next game."

Alex rolls her eyes. "You better go, too."

Magnus grins. "Well, someone has to act as the nurse when someone gets injured."

"Why are you like this?" Alex asks, looking at him, pausing in her pacing.

"Like what?"

"Helpful."  
  
And then they're kissing.

"Woah!" Blitz yells. "Not in a rush, now, are we?"

Hearth rolls his eyes. 'Really, you two?'

They don't pull apart, Alex simply flips the two of them off.

Hearth and Blitz share a look before the two of them grab water bottles off the counter.

They take off the caps and pour them onto the heads of Magnus and Alex, who finally break apart, spluttering.

"Wow, Hearth, thanks," Alex says dryly, which is ironic.

Hearth shrugs and Alex grabs another bottle off the table. Magnus begins to laugh, and Blitzen does too.

Alex grins. "Let's see if we can wash that hair dye out, shall we?"

Hearth bolts from the room, a dripping Alex following.

Blitzen and Magus stare out of the doorway, hands on their knees, laughing.

A dark streak of smoke from the oven catches their attention, and both of them sober.

"Uh, Magnus?" Blitzen says.

"Oh, no," Magnus says, just as the smoke hits the smoke alarm and chirps with activity.

\--

"So," Magnus starts. The background of the video is now outside, looking like a park. Hearth and Blitz sit in the background, against a large oak tree, looking annoyed at Mangus.

Alex is lying in the grass, laughing.

"Our building got evacuated," Magnus continues. "We tried to make a cake, and we got our apartment building evacuated."

"The cake caught on fire!" Alex sobs with laughter. Hearth and Blitz share a look as well before joining in the laughter.

"Once again," Magnus says, "this has been the Queer Quarter, stay tuned for hopefully less fire."

Before the camera goes dark, Blitzen is heard saying, "Let's order pizza, yeah?"

-

New Video from DeafandIndecisive: The Queer FAILURE

Views: 479,797

Likes: 356,986

Dislikes: 304

-

Comments:

Wowowow:  
You,,, I have no words

-

PolkaDotScarf:  
is anyone going to talk about hearth possibly going to a lacrosse game to see blitz uhMM

-

AandMaregoals:  
THEY LEFT THE KISS IN WH AT   
-

Confusedandtired:  
That was the best thing I have ever seen. I would still eat that cake.   
-

Namesarefun:  
I M S T I L L S C R E A M I N G

-

plzimdesperate:  
please. i need more. o h my go d..

-

queerquartet:  
they're friends now whAT YES PLEAS E E E 

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments, help a girl out
> 
>  
> 
> Okay also:  
> The ASL sign for snail is amazing check it out: http://www.handspeak.com/word/search/index.php?id=5760


End file.
